Life’s lessons learned

By Marianne Lincoln

My apologies to all my readers for the slow press this December. Since Thanksgiving, I stockingshave been working at a seasonal job and in my spare time, taking care of my home and working on craft projects for my granddaughters. A Christmas stocking with felt cut outs, sequins and beads can take an awful lot of time to construct. I also discovered at my age and eyesight, threading a needle isn’t as easy. It’s even more difficult to thread a tiny beading needle. I even broke the threading tool that was supposed to help.

The stocking for my youngest granddaughter came out magnificent as did the card table play house cover for her and her older sister. Sitting up in a chair to get it done has not been as easy.

This December, I have been nursing an injury to my jaw and a concussion. The injury was a result of conflict between myself and my former spouse who I was assisting and permitting to use my guest room while awaiting the reinstatement of his Social Security disability payments. Without putting in personal details which I do not have permission to disclose, the Social Security Administration (SSA) decided to challenge him and send the case to a judge, for a second time on the same issue already decided by a judge in 2010. This, in both our minds was an unlawful act. In my mind, I was looking at the possibility of having an extra house guest 6 to 12 months longer than anticipated, or until the resistance could be overturned. It was not how I planned or desired to live my life. I have no kind words for the SSA.

On December 5th, the challenges of living with a disabled person came to a complicated turn. In frustration or whatever else was in his mind, my former spouse lashed out and struck me in the jaw while I was trying to leave the house. After some struggle, he finally allowed me to get in my vehicle and drive away. He was angry, my departure did not happen immediately. I drove to the fire station, got medical attention and was transported to Multicare – Good Sam in Puyallup. For 6 hours they watched for signs of a concussion, X-Rayed my jaw, it was not broken, but had a serious contusion and they monitored my blood pressure as it slowly returned to normal. My blood pressure was so high it almost put a dent in the space shuttle. I spent the night at my sister’s. She is a nurse and wanted to monitor my condition in case of a concussion. It was late. After 6 hours at the hospital, retrieving my truck from the fire station and filling out the report for the deputy sheriff, we finally got to get rest about 1a.m.

The next morning at 8:30 a.m., I was off to the South Hill Precinct to fill out a protection order request to the court. They called in the confirmation number to assure it was received and told me to return about 1:30 p.m. for copies of the documents approved by the judge. They provided a copy for me and a copy to serve him.

Here is the challenge. They give the abused person the protection order and tell them to locate the suspect. Then the abused person is told to call the Sheriff non-emergency number while waiting near the location the suspect is known to be and wait, and wait, and wait… until a deputy is available to get the papers and serve them to the suspect. Then the deputy returns to the victim and announces if they were able to get them served or did not locate the suspect. I had the frustration of doing this twice in one day. The first time at my home, which thankfully was clear so I could return. I am grateful the second location was successful and that no deputies were put in danger.

playhouseIt’s difficult to work on Christmas projects when you are not able to be at home. It’s also difficult to work on Christmas projects and decorations when your head is throbbing and all you want to do is sleep. My sister finally came over on Dec. 18 and helped me finish putting the decorations up. I just could not get it all done and spend hours at my job too.

On December 20th, there was a pre-trial conference in the morning for my former house guest and a hearing for a permanent protection order in the afternoon. Luckily, I had that day off. I needed the whole day. The case was Assault 4, a misdemeanor since there were no weapons involved. They gave him a plea offer of 364 days with 350 suspended, probation and some other details for a plea of guilty. He took the offer and was released that day. He was released 10 minutes before the permanent protection order hearing, making it a challenge to find him to be served the permanent order. Seriously, this is a defect in the system.

  • I am thankful for the fire fighter/paramedics, the hospital staff, the 5 deputies that assisted me and the Prosecutor’s Crime Victim’s Unit. I am also thankful to the hospital for helping me with paperwork Labor & Industries Crime Victim’s Compensation. Still praying it will help with the medical expenses. I am also thankful for several very helpful and supportive family members and friends who knew how this needed to turn out and assisted me in getting there.

So, articles for the Pierce Prairie Post were low on my list the past 3 weeks. I missed a meeting for the Pierce Communities Coalition and worked well into December 23rd to finish my granddaughter’s gifts. My seasonal job ended on Dec. 24 and I greeted a house full of guests on Dec. 25. This Christmas, I feel like a survivor with bumps still in the road.

So the last week of 2016, I am home recovering from December. I have much work to catch up around the house and some long hours on the computer on the full time job hunt. I have more experience in the life’s lessons arena to add to my resources.

To you and yours, I hope your Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Solstice, birthdays and other December events were pleasant memories. May we all pass along to the new year with great hope, anticipation, and sensible responses to our challenges.

Life is not easy, but we have already gotten this far… make the best you can of it. Don’t let angry people ruin your day. Walk away, or run as quickly as you can.. Make it a great life!

And the presents… scored. Happy granddaughters.


Here is a very helpful article about the kind of games abusive people play. It is titled: 20 Diversion tactics highly manipulative narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths use to silence you


3 Comments Add yours

  1. So sorry to read this as I have a story somewhat similar. I found out that the law cannot protect us the victim)-:

    Graham-Kapowsin Community Council …linking community where the imact is great!

    Carol Wright

    253 279 3071

  2. Paula Morris says:

    Oh my goodness! You’ve been thru it, haven’t you? Sorry for you, but glad your family is there for you. Hope next year is a better one.

  3. Kelly says:

    Oh my gosh! I am so sorry that this happened to you. I am in awe that you still managed to do all that you did. Praying for your speedy continued recovery and a much better 2017.

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